In “The Midterms,” Jesse Welles turns a political reckoning into a surreal, satirical fever dream where power brokers scramble as their control slips. The song moves through images of billionaires, hollowed-out politicians, and tech elites reaching for disguises as the public finally pushes back. The repeated idea that ordinary people “did it” lands as both triumph and warning, since the dream of change has left bruises before. The closing advice to lawyer up suggests that winning is only the first fragile step, and the real fight is just beginning.
The Midterms Lyrics by Jesse Welles
I saw Elon leaving Austin
Fat and hunchbacked, strange and pale
A half a billion-dollar lesson
That them Texans ain’t for sale
The ghost of Lindsey Graham came riding on a seven-headed drone
Flew right down to the golden golf cart, whispered, “Donald, listen close
You can threaten civilizations, kill civilians and just laugh
You can exterminate races
Put folks into cages
But you just can’t fuck with gas.”
Mitch McConnell sat there speechless but that’s kind of his new thing
Who would have ever thought Iran would go and change out our regime
Ah, the eyeliner was running as JD watched the blue storm
He was swearing in the first jihadist to ever want health-care reform
While that Temu Patton Hegseth crawled to Tennessee and begged
But the greatest military defeat in US history had a hold of both his legs
All the tech lords donned their banjos, their suspenders and craft beers
As they dusted off their pronouns seeing that the end was near
And they wondered how they’d manage to destroy the planet first
They said, “What about China?” China’s “What about us?” Always seemed a whole lot worse
And the people said they did it
It’s a good start sure enough
I’ve had the dream before
And my head’s still sore
But y’all should probably lawyer up
