Best Friend’s New Boyfriends Union Lyrics by Leanna Firestone
Having the nicest girls’ night
Meeting our best friend’s new guy
Polite and not a sore sight
Believe me, the bar was not high
Downed a glass of cheap rosé
Thought things were going so great
Nearing the perfect cross-vein
When she says, “Wow, it’s so late”
10:30 and I’m kicked out
Haunted by the ghost of boyfriends past
Sobering up outside her house
Not the first time and it won’t be the last
Somebody has to say it
We need some representation
‘Cause every time my girl is taken
Here comes my uglier replacement
I shouldn’t have to do this
But God, girl, you’re so confusing
So I’m officially introducing
The Best Friend’s New Boyfriend’s Union
BF and BFU
BF and BFU
BF and BFU
BF and BFU
He drowns you with affection
Touting your true connection
You’ve known him, like, two seconds
Hope he’s as great as you say the sex is
Through all the fires that I put out
Driving the U-Haul in your removed house
Advising the last boys about your birthday
Calling you fake-sick on all your bad dates
When you greened out New Year’s Eve
Turned twenty-one and needed a DD
Hate to pull that card, I know I sound bitter
But all of a sudden, I’m chopped liver
Somebody has to say it
We need some representation
‘Cause every time my girl is taken
Here comes my uglier replacement
I shouldn’t have to do this
But God, girl, you’re so confusing
So I’m officially introducing
The Best Friend’s New Boyfriend’s Union
And I’m sure that he’s perfectly nice
Wonderfully kind, and I’ll get it in a few months
And when all is said and done
If you’re happy, then I’m happy, do shut the fuck up
It’s not that serious, it is that deep
I just need you to hear one thing
You’ve always been my sister
I’m angry ’cause I miss you
But somebody has to say it
We need some representation
Every time my girl is taken
Here comes my uglier replacement
I shouldn’t have to do this
But God, girl, you’re so confusing
So I’m officially introducing
The Best Friend’s New Boyfriend’s Union
BF and BFU
BF and BFU
BF and BFU
BF and BFU
BF and BFU
BF and BFU
BF and BFU
BF and B, fuck you