Last Thoughts On Morning Star Lyrics by Maya Hawke
I waited longer than you think, analyzed your fingerprints
Couldn’t take a hint, held onto glances like championship rings
Wanted to waste my money on plane tickets
Waste my ink on love letters
But I wasted my time on a vendetta
You’re cruel but anything you do, I do better
You had reason to leave, but there was no reason for me
To make you rue the day, you were just running, you weren’t running away
We were casual, if not supernatural
I was just collateral
It was the kind thing for you to do, to cut me loose
Not an excuse for me to do the unspeakable thing
Going for the weakest link, pushing them to the brink
What did you think was gonna happen?
Well, it was worse than I’d imagined
I took a cheap shot
And got caught in a much longer story
I’m really sorry
I’m mad at me, too
Wish I could say I didn’t know better
But I knew
I’m really sorry
I’m mad at me, too
Wish I could say I didn’t know better
But I knew
Now I’m the man of my house
Slowly becoming the couch
I haven’t called my friends in months
I’ve been dreading catching up
Don’t want their comfort, their context
Perspective, forgiveness
I don’t want to hear them say it doesn’t sound that bad on its face
Would’ve done the same in my place, worst case, an honest mistake
And it’ll turn out okay, it’ll all turn out okay
Did it all turn out okay?
I’m really sorry
I’m mad at me, too
Wish I could say I didn’t know better
But I knew
I’m really sorry
I’m mad at me, too
Wish I could say I didn’t know better
But I knew
My friends say I’m not a bull in a china shop
I was a traffic cop, you live for the chaos, you like that I got caught
So you had something to talk about, is it better now?
Or are you melting down and freaking out like me?
Thinking of the day we met, taking a deep breath
Holding a secret, close in the backseat
With the radio adding to the tension, I’m trying to take a second
To reconcile my sentence to the rank and file
Random acts of violence turned to phantom pains and quietness
You are not a scientist, not smart enough to be malevolent
What I thought was a life was a weekend
Good for me then, I got my revenge
And lost a friend out in the deep end, took me down a peg
Meant it when you said, “Break a leg,” didn’t you?
Thought I was playing by your rules, but I broke them
Ripped the door off the hinges when it wouldn’t open
Why am I still mad at you when it was me who
Did the unspeakable thing?
It doesn’t sound that bad on its face
A waste, an honest mistake
And it’ll turn out okay, it’ll all turn out okay
Did it all turn out okay?
I’m really sorry
I’m mad at me, too
Wish I could say I didn’t know better
But I knew
I’m really sorry
I’m mad at me, too
Wish I could say I didn’t know better
But I knew