In "HOME," Ari Abdul spirals through excess to escape a home where love has curdled into rejection. White knuckles, white lines, and blackouts blur into frantic physical attention, yet every scream of her name only sharpens the isolation. The bruises turning ultraviolet suggest damage she no longer bothers to conceal, while the question of where her mind has gone points to a self lost beyond reach. The repeated refusal to return home becomes less about a place than the terrifying suspicion that something inside her is broken beyond repair.
HOME Lyrics by Ari Abdul
I can’t go home
They don’t love me like they used to, no
I can’t go home
White knuckling the bathtub
White lines ’til I taste blood
So many pretty girls on my lap now
How many shots ’til I- ’til I blackout
If you want we can make out
Pull my hair make it real loud
Taste me let it burn in your pretty mouth
Know I won’t remember all this on the come down
I don’t have anybody to blame
Sex, drugs, money or fame
Everybody screaming my name
But I can’t go
Home
Oh, I
Can’t go home
Ain’t no love for me
Anymore
Oh, I
Can’t go home
There’s something wrong with me
I can’t go home
(I can’t go)
They don’t love me like they used to, no
(Can’t)
I can’t go home
My bruises turning ultraviolet
I don’t even try to hide it
Can you hear me?
Shh—
The sound is so violent
Where’s the door?
Where’s my mind?
I’m stuck on the other side
I can’t go
Home
Oh, I
Can’t go home
Ain’t no love for me
Anymore
Oh, I
Can’t go home
There’s something wrong with me
I can’t go home
They don’t love me like they used to, no
I can’t go home
They don’t love me like they used to, no
I can’t go
