In "Don't Know Why," Tash Sultana watches everything crumble and admits the collapse is also a beginning, but honesty only sharpens the fear. Change feels like sinking, and the old escapes, shaving a head or dreaming of running, no longer work. The mirror becomes a threat because looking means facing feelings that are suddenly real and unbearable. Anger and tears arrive together, and the repeated admission of not being ready lands as raw terror at having to meet this new self without any familiar hiding place left.
Don’t Know Why Lyrics by Tash Sultana
Everywhere I look, things are falling apart
And I guess I can’t deny it’s a fresh new start
I gotta be honest
I know I’m changing
Feeling weighed down to the depths below
And I try to sink deeper with the sh*t I know
But I don’t know sh*t
And sh*t don’t know me
Every time I dream, I’m running free
and I shave my head, I’m in ecstasy
Drinking all the poison, wanting them to die
But the blood banks are closed
And I don’t know why
I’d rather die
Than face myself
’Cause I’m just scared of all the feels I feel
It makes me mad and makes me cry
Because I guess it’s real
ain’t ready for this
Mirror on the wall, reveal my fortune
Do I really wanna know
Or should I just stop talking?
My hole’s been dug
But I’m familiar here
Feet on the earth, but hell feels hot
Will the devil drag me down?
I’d surely rot
I gotta be honest
I’m just f**ked right now
Every time I dream, I’m running free
I shave my head, I’m in ecstasy
Drinking all the poison, wanting them to die
But the blood banks are closed
And I don’t know why
I’d rather die
Than face myself
’Cause I’m just scared of all the feels I feel
It makes me mad and makes me cry
Because I guess it’s real
Oh my God, I guess
I ain’t ready for this
Oh my God, I guess it’s real
And I ain’t ready
I ain’t ready
I ain’t ready
For this
